I Will Hire The Assassin Just To Kill The Time

It is just too fucking hot in New York. I barely want to do anything. These two songs for today were selected because they both (for reasons I can’t quite explain) evoke the feeling of air conditioning for me.

Jonathan Fire Eater “This Is My Room” – This is taken from their Wolf Songs For Lambs album, which I believe to be one of the great ‘lost classics’ of the 1990s. This album was buried by its own press/industry hype and the band broke up shortly after its release due to a combination of inter-band strife, drug abuse, and record company hassles. The hype was not unwarranted – the people who praised this album and the band back in the mid-90s were on the money in terms of the music’s quality, even if they massively overestimated their commercial appeal.

Pharrell Williams w/ Jay-Z “Frontin'” – This is from the forthcoming The Neptunes Present…Clones record. I love how crisp and clean this song sounds, it is very slick and smooth without sounding too dull or austere. I’m assuming that this song has more than a couple samples in it, because I swear I recognize some of these keyboard/bass parts, though I can’t quite place them. All told, this is pretty typical of the best Pharrell/Neptunes music.

Nobody Loaned Them An Old Caboose

To celebrate this most patriotic of days, I give you Byron MacGregor’s “Americans.” This is the work of a bored Canadian radio news anchor in 1974, who read this nagging, strident, and occasionally wildly ill-informed pro-America rant over an instrumental version of “America The Beautiful,” and somehow found himself with a number one single. I suppose we should all count our blessings that at least the people of Fox News and conservative talk radio aren’t scoring chart hits with hyper-jingoistic spoken-word harangues today. Just imagine a nightmare world in which Ann Coulter has the most popular song in the country…

Slow Motion Break Up

If you weren’t already aware, The Audio Kitchen has returned to the on-air schedule of WFMU for the summer. The Audio Kitchen is a weekly hour-long program in which The Professor plays found amateur audio. This season, The Professor has been crafting theme episodes from his immense collection of found sound. Last week it was an all-children program, next week it’s going to be a collection of music demo tapes, and this week we were treated to an entire episode of romantic audio letters and lover’s conversations documented on tape. By far, the most interesting part of the episode for me was this series of conversation snippets captured on the answering machine of a man named Frank, which seems to document the slow dissolution of his relationship with a woman named Beth. It’s mostly interesting because of Frank’s creepy behavior – he often speaks with an obnoxious affected tone of voice (“daaarling”), acts extremely bored and distant, rants about Swanson pot pies, and clearly has no regard for the feelings of this poor, clingy girl who obviously is still in love with him for some bizarre reason. I defy you to listen to this without wanting to slap Frank.

My Main Goal Is To Please Ya

Electric Six “Gay Bar (Best Show On WFMU Remix)” – This is from last night’s episode of The Best Show On WFMU. Tom Scharpling and Petey “remix” the song live on the air, with Petey playing Jandek-meets-Spacemen 3 guitar over the telephone and Tom dropping in a cappella vocals from the Electric Six song. It could very well be one of the most extreme songs ever played on WFMU.

Last night’s Best Show was probably one of the best episodes that I’ve ever heard, and I’ve listened to nearly all of them. I highly recommend checking out the archive for last night’s July 1st episode, and advancing to about the 46 minute mark for the beginning of a hilarious two part skit featuring Jon Wurster which viciously mocks audiophiles and the people with fake German accents who take advantage of them. I don’t want to give too much away, but I assure you that as broad as the comedy in this skit is, the satire of clueless audiophiles is on the money. It’s an instant Best Show classic!

Mya w/ Missy Elliot “My Love Is Like…Wo” – Wo, not whoa. I’m assuming that wo is different from whoa, and that wo indicates a knowing sort of amazement, whereas whoa signifies a Keanu-like state of being utterly dumbfounded. The production is a bit more understated than what one might normally expect from Missy Elliot, but I would say that is a good thing. It’s not quite on the level of Beyonce’s “Crazy In Love,” but it is certainly a top notch summer pop single. Also: I appreciate that when Mya sings the words “my main goal is to please ya” it sounds sort of like “my mango is to please ya.”

Speaking of “Crazy In Love,” I was just watching BET for a little bit, and they played the video for the song two times in the span of ten minutes. There was only one song between the two airings! The airwaves are totally saturated with this song at this point. I’m starting to wonder when I’m going to finally get sick of hearing it – it’s always on tv, it’s on the radio, I listen to it on the Beyonce album very frequently. Somehow, after hearing the song at least once per day for nearly two months, it still sounds fresh and exciting every time. That’s pretty amazing.

Gillian Welch “Look At Miss Ohio” – I’m not sure what to say about this song. It’s just very, very good. It’s a lot more downbeat and glum than most of the songs that I’ve been posting lately. No one would ever confuse this for Joycore, you know?

Every Child Of God’s A Brat

Guided By Voices “The Best Of Jill Hives” – The forthcoming GBV album Earthquake Glue is still slowly growing on me, but I officially love this song now. This probably won’t make sense to anyone who isn’t already a GBV fan, but this new album sounds more like a Robert Pollard solo record to my ears. In terms of production and song style, I think Earthquake Glue falls somewhere between Not In My Airforce and Kid Marine. Sometimes it is rather blatant – “I”ll Replace You With Machines” sounds like a rewritten version of “Maggie Turns To Flies.”

I’m definitely glad that I’m coming around to this album, because the first few times I heard it, I was very disappointed with it, and was wondering where all the catchy songs were. There’s certainly nothing as incredibly pop as “Back To The Lake,” “Cheyenne,” or “Universal Truths & Cycles” on Earthquake Glue; but I can see now that this record is more about subdued melodicism, and that it’s not going for the pop brass ring like the last few Guided By Voices albums. This may be a turning point for Bob Pollard, the point where the differences between the “solo” and GBV records start to really blur because he’s finally given up on having a mainstream hit.

Dizzee Rascal “I Luv U” – Now this is interesting. This song seems to be like some sort of test for me, to see how many annoying bits I can endure and still enjoy a song overall. There’s something extremely bratty about this song; it seems to be made up of exclusively of grating elements that somehow come together to be something very exciting and fun. I alternately love and hate the fact that I can’t concentrate at all when I’m listening to it.

Ladies And Gentlemen, I Give You…

…the best review of a comic book, ever.

Love And Joy And Peace And Patience

Sonic Youth “Mariah Carey And The Arthur Doyle Handcream” – As mentioned in the previous entry, this is a brand new Sonic Youth song taken from a split 7″ with Erase Errata.

The Danielson Famile “Fathom The Nine Fruits Pie” – This is one of the happiest songs that I have ever heard. You know how a lot of metal and hardcore is all about making the most intense, relentless, aggressive music possible? I wish that there were a similar genre of music much like this song, focused on creating overpowering, unstoppable cresendos of undiluted joy. We can call it Joycore! Let’s do this!

Tripping Out In The Blue Skies

Sonic Youth, Central Park Summerstage 6/26/2003

Peace Attack / The Empty Page / Rain On Tin / Plastic Sun / Eric’s Trip / Disconnection Notice / Karenology / Mariah Carey and Arthur Doyle Handcream / Catholic Block / Making The Nature Scene / Sympathy For The Strawberry // Sugar Kane

For me, the whole Murray Street album, “Rain On Tin” and “Disconnection Notice” in particular, is very closely associated with hot, muggy summer weather, and so I think that this setlist was perfectly suited to the weather and venue. I was only slightly disappointed that a few songs currently in rotation were not played, mostly because all of the songs that I had in mind except for “Expressway To Yr Skull” wouldn’t have been appropriate under the circumstances. “Peace Attack” is a new Thurston number, and it is very similar in feeling and structure as the Murray Street songs, but maybe a bit more mellow, not too far off from Experimental Jet Set Trash And No Star‘s “Sweet Shine.” It has an instantly ingratiating melody, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it ended up being the single for the next record. “Mariah Carey…” is a new Kim song which is on a split single with Erase Errata. I hadn’t heard it before – it is a fairly typical Kim Gordon-style punk tune, pretty similar to her more rocking songs from the Goo/Dirty era. “Karenology” was a major highlight of the show, and the improvisational instrumental section was extra long and featured some very amusing guitar abuse.

Wilco were okay. I left after their main set concluded, I didn’t feel any need to stick around after they had played a majority of Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. They took their sweet time getting started, and opened with three consecutive extremely boring songs before playing “I Am Trying To Break Your Heart.” After a second lull following that song, they finally started to play what I like to refer to as “the good songs.” Unfortunately, it was sort of hard to fully appreciate their performance since Wilco has some of the most obnoxious fans I’ve ever encountered. I’m fairly certain that they were Wilco fans – I really doubt that the people in question were Sonic Youth fans who were sticking around. Wilco fans do not shut up. They have conversations through the songs as though the music were just a cd on in the background at a bar. They make calls on their cell phones during quiet numbers. They bring their laptops to the gig with them. They are overly fond of concession stand french fries. There was one guy singing along loudly in a droning bass monotone several octaves off key. Nevertheless, it was good to see Wilco play “Jesus, Etc,” “I’m The Man Who Loves You,” “Poor Places,” “Heavy Metal Drummer,” “Ashes Of American Flags,” “I Am Trying To Break Your Heart,” and “Spiders (Kidsmoke),” so it was worth waiting through the boring parts. Fun fact: Jeff Tweedy sort of looks like Jimmy Fallon from 50 yards away.

You’re Like Medicine To Me

Freddie Scott “You Got What I Need” – This is best known for being the song that begat Biz Markie’s “Just A Friend.” It’s a wonderful, upbeat r&b love song, the kind that just sounds as though the music is in love. It’s perfect for a sunny (though unbearably hot and sticky) day like today. (Thanks to Baddd Spelllah!)

Manacled To The City

I’m on another one of my obsessive Fall listening sprees, which was set in motion by the acquisition of the new Country On The Click album. I originally intended to only post “Susan Vs. Youthclub,” but then I decided to post an older song in addition to it, and indecision led to posting four old Fall numbers. If you’ve never heard The Fall before, this should be a decent introduction, but please keep in mind that The Fall discography is massive, and they have accrued at least one hundred brilliant songs in their nearly 25 years of existence. These songs were selected arbitrarily based on my own personal favorites, and are not intended to represent the band’s discography as a whole.

The Fall “Susan Vs. Youthclub” – from the forthcoming Country On The Click, which is fantastic.

The Fall “F’Oldin’ Money” – from The Marshall Suite, 1999.

The Fall “Hit The North (Part 1)” – from The Frenz Experiment, 1988.

The Fall “Living Too Late” – from Bend Sinister, 1986.

The Fall “I’m Into CB!” – from Hip Priests And Kamerads, 1985.

Just As A Crumb Of Bread Is Still Real Bread

Lil’ Markie “Diary Of An Unborn Child” – Oh man. Apparently this song has been going around for a while, but I just discovered it thanks to Eppy. It’s fucking insane. Basically, for the first three minutes, an adult affecting an obnoxious and creepy cartoon baby voice reads off diary entries during the first weeks of its life within its mother’s womb. If you’re unwilling to suspend disbelief, you’ll notice that this fetus is impossibly self aware, and has an amazing knowledge of medical science and the outside world. Anyway, around the three minute mark, the creepy fetus reveals that his mother has aborted him, and for the rest of the song, he mewls “why did you kill me, mommy?” and wonders what he may have grown up to become. It’s obviously meant to tug the heartstrings, but it just makes me laugh out loud. This could very well be the least effective piece of pro-life propaganda of all time. It may actually inspire you to become an abortionist.

The Four Skins “It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Syphilis” – This was recorded by a group of physicians who were recording medical themed novelty versions of popular songs, making them the Weird Als of medicine. This one is set to the tune of “It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas.” Charming. (Thanks to Eppy again!)

Finally, here’s some real pop for you.

Prince “Electric Chair” – This is one of my all time favorite Prince songs, but you probably don’t know it because it ended up on the otherwise lousy Batman soundtrack. I kid you not, this is one of his best songs ever. The lyrics in the chorus are just about perfect: “If a man is considered guilty 4 what goes on his mind / then give me the electric chair 4 all my future crimes, oh!” I dare you not to love that line.

SONIC YOUTH UPDATE!

Sonic Youth will be playing with Wilco in Central Park and in Washington, DC! Unfortunately, tonight’s Boston show and tomorrow’s Connecticut show were both cancelled.

You Don’t Even Know Who Liz Phair Is

Liz Phair “Rock Me” – It’s Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher’s summer pop anthem! I’m not crazy about the rest of Liz Phair’s new album, but this song is enough for me to forgive the relative blandness of the rest of the record. It seems like most of the negative reviews of the record come down to accusing Phair of desperately selling out and trying to be Sheryl Crow (or Avril Lavigne); but I think the album, and this song in particular, is pretty true to who she’s been from the start. The lyrics are classic Liz – frank and straightfoward, unafraid of admitting to desires that a lady might not want to admit to in polite society. So she likes to fuck her hot young guy; why should she be ashamed? It may as well be an episode of Sex And The City, with Sarah Jessica Parker going into a bad monologue about why it’s socially acceptable for older men to sleep with young women, yet when older women sleep with young men blah blah blah blah. Liz spares us the Carrie Bradshaw melodrama, and gives us a bunch of euphoric Foo Fighters-style pop hooks instead, because she’s definitely more of an unashamed Samantha Jones type.

This Is The Birth Of A Very Idea

Erlend Oye (w/ Prefuse 73) “Every Party (Has A Winner And A Loser)” – I adore the keyboard parts on this song, especially the one part that is more rhythmic than the others. I saw Erlend Oye play this song by himself with an acoustic guitar when he opened up for The Rapture and LCD Soundsystem, but it wasn’t anywhere near as great as this album arrangement. This is just about perfect for today’s weather too. (Here in New York, it is dark, and it won’t stop raining.)

Sister Nancy “Bom Bom” – I heard this song for the first time on Kelly’s fill-in for Donna Summer on WFMU from earlier in the week. It was just one of those things, I fell in love with it immediately. I loooooove the echo on her voice, and the bass line is just about perfect.

Break Up Coherence With A Cut-Cut-Cut Up Technique

Unrest “Hey London!”

Unrest “Folklore”

These are both for Eppy, who wanted to hear what Unrest sounded like after I favorably compared his band to them. “Folklore” is a cover of a James song, and it has some of my favorite lyrics ever. The funny thing, I’m not being too helpful here – the songs by his band that I think sound a bit like Unrest don’t really sound like either of these two songs, which I chose simply because I happen to love the both of them.

Ain’t No Other Cats Got Love For Me

The Beatles Vs. Hip Hop – I found this gem back when I was downloading every mash-up that I could find on Audiogalaxy, and this remains one of the finest and most inspired bootlegs that I’ve ever heard. This was apparently made by a producer/DJ called Phofo, who produced the majority of the last MC Paul Barman album. The backing track for this song is “Flying” by The Beatles, and it starts off with a snippet from Method Man’s verse from “Tear It Up,” leading into the chorus of Busta Rhymes’s “Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Can See,” and the rest is from DMX and Drag-On’s “No Love 4 Me.”

Rhianna “Word Love” – I discovered this one while randomly downloading songs on Soulseek. I have no idea why I chose to download this song, I suppose that I just liked the taste of the person who had this in their folder, and I just went for it. It’s all a blur. Anyway, I listened to this yesterday, and….swoooooooooooooooooon. It’s amazing! The melody is gorgeous, the feeling is joyous, the rhythm and bass is sublime. You need this song in your life.

Lumidee “Never Leave You (Uh Oh, Uh Oh!)” I sought this out based on the rather insistent recommendation of several of the writers from the Spizzazzz blog. The song is built on this extremely spare backing track consisting almost entirely of a percussion loop that sounds hypnotic, but also very active and physical. There’s just a hint of bass, and there is a “uh oh, uh oh” chant that almost rivals the one in Beyonce Knowles’s “Crazy In Love.” It’s beautiful and haunting, and it makes a strong case for minimalism in pop music.

Life And Death Are Just Things You Do When You’re Bored

John Cale “Fear Is A Man’s Best Friend” No, safe is a man’s best friend! SAAAAAFE is a man’s best friend!

Blur “Money Made Me Crazy” – In the tradition of “All Your Life,” “Get Out Of Cities,” “All We Want,” “Ultranol,” and “One Born Every Minute,” this is another Blur b-side that should’ve been an a-side. This one is taken from the recent “Out Of Time” single. It is definitely a little too goofy to fit in on the Think Tank album, “Crazy Beat” notwithstanding, but it probably is the most catchy and unabashedly pop song that Damon Albarn’s released since “19-2000” from the Gorillaz record.

The Way I Like It Is The Way It Is

Chicks On Speed (featuring Peaches) – “Guitar Anthem” – This is a song about a band that doesn’t play guitars. But they simulate guitar sounds. And they have a guest, who plays guitars, and plays a guitar (or a sample of a guitar?) on a song about not playing guitars. And there’s something about gaffer tape, too.

Flying Lizards “Sex Machine” – This is probably the coldest, most mechanical, deadpan, dispassionate cover version of a James Brown song that a bunch of postpunks could ever hope to come up with. It’s still kind of sexy, I think.

Hot And Fresh Out The Kitchen

R. Kelly “Ignition (Remix)” – I don’t need to say anything about this. It’s all right here – 100 Reasons Why “Ignition – Remix” Is So Damned Great.

I can’t stop listening to it!

Mrs. Munt Has Got It Going On

Thanks to Mrs. Munt from Queer Granny, Fluxblog has a new look. I hope that you like it.

Let’s celebrate with some new songs, shall we?

Fountains Of Wayne “Stacy’s Mom” – If you can believe it, this song is just as catchy and twice as cheesy as the New Pornographers song from the last entry. If you’re allergic to goofy power pop cheese, don’t bother with this. If you want a dorky, Weezer-like love song about a suburban Jersey guy’s girlfriend’s mom, you will probably end up playing this song over and over again. And singing along, too.

The Pop Group “Where There’s A Will” – This is taken from the Wild Dub (Dread meets Punk Rocker) compilation, and is definitely the best Pop Group song that I’ve ever heard. It sounds sort of like Mark E Smith at a disco, if that makes any sense. Or maybe: !!!, but way better.

Electrocute “Sugar Buzz” – This is a nice electro-pop song from a new band on the Emperor Norton label. There’s not much to say about it, really. They do a cover of Sexual Harassment’s “I Need A Freak” too, but I prefer this original song.

I just thought I’d mention that I’ve come to really like Hail To The Thief all the way through. It’s been adding up very slowly over the course of many weeks – I liked a little more than half of it right away, and I came to love “2+2=5” and “Go To Sleep” pretty soon after that. Last week I came to really like “I Will” and “Sit Down Stand Up,” and just last night I finally was in the right mood for “We Suck Young Blood” and “The Gloaming.” So there it is, one more really great Radiohead album.

We All Have Favorite Songs But We Don’t Know What Keys They’re In

The New Pornographers “Your Daddy Don’t Know” This is one of the three non-album New Pornographers tracks that have been released to date; it is taken from the Fubar soundtrack, and is a cover of the 80s Canadian powerpop band Toronto’s biggest hit. Neko Case sings lead, and it’s definitely one of her finest studio performances. I promise you that this song will be stuck in your head all day, so if you want to avoid that sort of thing, just don’t bother and move right along.

LCD Soundsystem “Daft Punk Is Playing At My House” (live) This is the excellent new LCD Soundsystem song that I mentioned in my post about their live show last week, as performed at the

Les Transmusicales de Rennes 2002 festival.

Fred Armisen as “Music Scholar Niles Covington” live at Maxwell’s, 12/3/2002. This is Saturday Night Live’s Fred Armisen performing a brief bit as a condescending music scholar, opening up for one of Yo La Tengo’s string of Hannukah shows. “Music defines our emotions – trip on that.”

Sharpen The Air That I Breathe

Lali Puna “Left Handed” – This isn’t a great depature from the formula of their previous recordings, but this time Valerie Trebeljahr’s breathy, heavily accented vocals are accompanied by very prominent guitars along with their typical downbeat electronica, making this sound something like electro shoegazer rock.

Sally Crewe and the Sudden Moves “Wake Up The Heroes” – Ah, perfect rock pop music! There’s almost nothing to say about this song other than that it’s short, it’s catchy, it has clever lyrics, and it probably sounds great on a car stereo. If you’re a fan of the two most recent Spoon albums, you really ought to check this out, not just because Crewe’s songwriting style is very similar to that of Britt Daniel’s, but Daniel and Jim Eno also recorded the album, lending the same raw/clean recording aesthetic of those albums to her songs. For more Sally Crewe mp3s, go here. I highly recommend “Forget It.”

Stark Reality “Junkman’s Song” – This is a selection from Stark Reality’s Discovers Hoagy Carmichael’s Music Shop, which has recently been rereleased after decades of obscurity. It was very difficult for me to select just one song from the record, so much of it is remarkable and fascinating. Stark Reality were essentially a psychedelic rock/funk/jazz fusion act, and part of what I find very interesting about them is how they were able to combine familiar elements of those three genres in fairly unpredictable ways, making them seem vaguely alien and peculiar in their new context. This particular song is one of the more psychedelic tracks from the album, and features some amazing distorted keyboard sounds.

Adam Green “Jessica” – This is Adam “Moldy Peaches” Green, who has suddenly become a much better singer on this Scott Walker-style ballad which imagines a pathetic, washed up older version of minor pop star Jessica Simpson. It’s more than a little mean spirited, but it’s somehow vaguely sympathetic, too.