The Gossip Tonight Will Be Tomorrow’s Headline

Christina Aguilera “Candyman” – Christina Aguilera’s new 2 cd set isn’t much of a double album in the traditional sense (Physical Graffiti, The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway, Wu-Tang Forever, Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness) so much as two distinct albums packaged together, a la Winter Women / Holy Ghost Language School or Speakerboxx / The Love Below. In terms of quality, they are both relatively equal in that they both lack anything egregiously unlistenable, and have about the same number of gems per disc. The individual albums do not have their own names, but are broken apart thematically — the first cd is mostly produced by DJ Premier and largely focuses on Christina’s intense desire to become part of the canon, and the second is primarily comprised of ersatz big band pop that is sure to thrill every show tunes loving, jazz hands twirling theatre dork in America.

In a pleasing, though not at all historically inappropriate reversal of expectations, the jazzy disc is the one where Aguilera’s horny id runs wild. The best songs on either record, or really anything else in her catalog, are focused on overwhelming lust. For one thing, it’s a subject perfectly suited to Aguilera’s commanding, industrial-strength voice, but it also seems to be her area of intense interest. Though I have no doubt that she’s fully invested in proving herself as a serious musician and is not kidding around when she sings about loving her fans and needing to be her own person, she’s at her most passionate (and most entertaining) when she’s belting out songs about how much she loves to fuck her new husband. It’s obviously sincere, and the sentiment is a lot more relatable than the vain egotism of much of the Premier material. (Click here to buy the new double album for nearly 50% off on Amazon.)