Just Something That We Do

Madonna “Don’t Tell Me”

“Don’t Tell Me” is the result of three waves of creativity from wildly different perspectives – an initial burst of inspiration in Joe Henry’s original demo recording, Madonna applying her pop instincts to refine that into a tighter and more immediately potent tune, and French electronic producer Mirwais pushing the arrangement far beyond a singer-songwriter milieu to create an odd hybrid of spliced-up guitar and jittery beats that still sounds fresh and futuristic 22 years after its release. The songwriting is strong enough that the song works well in any presentation – Madonna playing it as a fully acoustic ballad, Henry’s own recording of the song as tango by way of Tom Waits – but the studio recording stands out as something special because it triangulates these aesthetics so seamlessly into a song that sounds both timeless in its structure and sentiment and novel in its textures and rhythms.

The lyrics, mostly written by Henry, are about someone trying to negotiate their way through a relationship that feels fraught with tensions around boundaries and limitations. It’s easy to see why the notoriously strong-willed Madonna resonated with what Henry wrote here – so much of this song is basically saying “you can’t control me, you can’t reshape me” while also presenting a vulnerability and willingness to meet them halfway out of true affection and respect. It’s a very adult and grounded love song, but it’s not at all cynical. The most powerful bit of the song – “don’t tell me love isn’t true, it’s just something that we do” – fully rejects this pessimistic and unromantic thought. Joe Henry’s version of the song plays those lyrics very casually but Madonna makes it a major hook and focus point of “Don’t Tell Me,” with Mirwais essentially moving other sounds out of the way to put a musical spotlight on the line. Her voice, presented plainly in the recording and mix, sounds weary in this moment. She’s not angry enough to project a “how dare you feel that way” feeling, but she does sound like someone who is losing her patience with trying to argue against a cold and pragmatic notion of love.

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