Nothing But All That I Want

Gwen Stefani “Now That You Got It” – This song asks no questions; it’s a list of demands. Those demands, however, raise a question: At what point does right-on assertiveness tip over into selfishness and petulance?

On one hand, Gwen Stefani’s needs as expressed in the lyrics are reasonable and what any self-respecting person should ask for from a serious relationship, but on the other, she’s also asking for unyielding submission to her will without offering any sort of reciprocation. The gist of the song is basically: I am unfathomably great, and if you want to maintain a relationship with me, you’d better display selfless obedience to me from this point onward. Like all too much pop art from this period, it confuses self-respect with entitlement and domination, and conflates comfort (ie, a total lack of personal sacrifice or compromise) with mature, adult relationships.

I could have anyone, so what I want / perfect, get it right, never wrong / so you gonna step it up or you gon’ be gone

This line from Gwen’s mid-song rap isn’t a far cry from the chorus of Beyonce’s current hit “Irreplaceable”:

You must not know ’bout me / I could have another you in a minute /matter of fact, he’ll be here in a minute

Of course, there’s a key difference in the context — Beyonce’s song is about a bitter break-up, and her character is attempting to build herself up to dig at the confidence of her ex, and Gwen’s song is from the point of view of someone who is in a stable relationship, presumably not unlike the one she has with her husband, That Handsome Guy From Bush. People say all kinds of cruel things in order to salvage their self-esteem and get back at someone who has hurt them, and it goes a long way toward making Beyonce’s line come across as something sympathetic rather than arrogant and cruel, but what is Gwen’s excuse? Her words don’t seem immediately harsh, but that could just be due to the fact that her disposition is so sunny and that Swizz Beatz’ brilliant track overflows with snappy beats and good vibes in the service of a chorus melody that implies girlish swooning, tipping the listener off that maybe she’s only browbeating this dude because she really loves him and doesn’t want any reason to give him up. (Click here to pre-order it from Amazon.)

Elsewhere: My new Hit Refresh column is up on the ASAP site, with mp3s from Cannonball Jane, Maps, and A Place To Bury Strangers.