Archive for 2003

2003: My Year In Films

This list is incomplete right now, mostly because I can’t remember everything right now. I’m definitely forgetting some films right now. Over the course of the next few days, I will have brief comments about each film.

28 Days Later B – Inconsequential but very entertaining zombie film. I’ve never been a huge fan of horror, so when I see films from the genre which I like, it’s always a pleasant surprise. Strangely, I don’t remember all that much from this film other than the scenes of the empty city set to Godspeed You Black Emperor, and the satisfyingly gory conclusion.

A Mighty Wind – Though not as consistently funny as Best In Show, A Mighty Wind finds Christopher Guest and Eugene Levy’s (expanded) improvisational troupe in fine form. Eugene Levy steals the show overall as the despondent Mitch, but Jane Lynch’s Laurie Bohner scores the best deadpan lines in the film. A-

All The Real Girls – This is a mess of a film. It’s not completely bad – I think that it could definitely be edited into a halfway decent 30 minute short film; but left to the devices of its writer/director David Gordon Green, it is padded out with unnecessary scenes and pointless selfindulgence which ultimately makes the film come across as the work of an amateur with some signs of potential. The plot isn’t anything special, but it makes a virtue of its banality by letting the story play itself out naturalistically for most of the film. The best parts of the movie are the scenes in which the two leads interact with other under less than dramatic circumstances, and the film keeps it focus squarely on the dynamics of those two characters. Green has a gift for capturing realistically awkward conversational rhythms and letting his inarticulate characters communicate themselves mostly through subtext. However, when the characters have to actually say what they really mean it usually just ends up sounding like like bad poetry or Oscar-reel histrionics. There’s plenty of parts in the film which don’t feel natural at all; scenes which either seem stilted due to the limitations of the actors, Green’s direction, or the script’s reliance on indie/art film cliches. (My full review of this film can be found here.) C-

American Splendor – This film tells the story of the great Harvey Pekar through a unique mixture of documentary, animation, and adaptations of Pekar’s own autobiographical comics starring Paul Giamatti and Hope Davis. American Splendor has a wit and craft which puts most other films to shame, and it is the summit of Pekar’s lifelong project of transforming his hard-luck life into the stuff of working-class-hero legend. A

American Wedding – I have a lot of goodwill for the American Pie franchise, and this was pretty much more of the same. Unnecessary characters from the previous two films are wisely jettisoned, and greater emphasis is placed on Eugene Levy and Seann William Scott’s deranged fratboy Stifler, who were the two best reasons to watch these films to begin with. I especially enjoyed the budding Fonzie/Richie relationship between Jim and Stifler, which I’d like to see further played out should this franchise continue. I don’t see why it shouldn’t – both of the sequels are better than the original American Pie, and it’s sort of amazing how much mileage the writers and actors have managed to squeeze out of what initially seemed like very thin characters. Not all of the jokes are great, but most of it works, especially the inspired sequence with Stifler in the gay bar. If this is the end of the Stifler character, then someone in Hollywood really ought to find a way to give Scott a new character that plays to the same strengths, because he truly has a gift for playing this particular type of oaf. B

Big Fish – I’ve never really been a huge Tim Burton fan, so I’m happy to see this come from him. Though some critics fault this film for its tear-jerker ending, I’m not exactly convinced that this film would have been better if it wasn’t at least a little bit heavy-handed. I enjoyed the ending, but the gentle humor and casual weirdness is what I found most endearing. B

Bubba Ho Tep – This isn’t a bad film, and it definitely has its moments of greatness (for example, the bit where the impersonator kisses Elvis’s ring), but it hasn’t really stuck with me in the longterm. It’s good entertainment, but it misses the mark by trying so incredibly hard to be a cult film. I wish that they hadn’t played it so straight – the film would be better if they had embraced the weirdness of it a bit more, and kept amping up that weirdness as the film progresses. As it is, it just plateaus about a half hour in and sustains the same level of weirdness and humor, and it ends up feeling static when it really should have been a lot more dynamic. B-

Capturing The Friedmans – This fascinating documentary tells the story of the Friedmans, a Long Island family torn apart by allegations of sexual abuse. Though it is quite clear that something happened, it is hard to discern the facts of the matter, since everything is distorted by a complicated web of lies, self-delusion, police corruption, and hyperbole borne of a town’s fear and opportunism. The film offers no clear answers, and every time the viewer feels as though it has a grasp of what happened, startling new information enters the story which changes everything. It’s a riveting film, and one which will change the way you think of the word “leapfrog” forever. A

Cremaster 3 – Though this film was sort of painful to watch when I actually screened it at the Guggenheim, my opinion of it has improved somewhat in hindsight. When I think back on it, I only seem to remember the best images and sequences and its interminable length and obtuse narrative have become more forgiveable. I’m not much of a Matthew Barney fan, but I have learned to respect what he does, even if I think he should probably avoid filmmaking in the future. C

Elf – Will Ferrell shines in this charming holiday crowd-pleaser. I could do without the schmaltz towards the end, but it’s appropriate for the genre, and Ferrell’s comedic talents far transcends the film’s more formulaic moments. The film also features a strong supporting cast, including Andy Richter, Amy Sedaris, Zooey Deschanel, Peter Dinklage, Ed Asner, and Bob Newhart. B

Finding Nemo – This is a likeable but mediocre children’s film which I find to be extremely overrated, but that could be largely because I’m not at all part of this film’s target demographic. It is amusing when it wants to be, but much of the humor is either lame or overly dependent on cheap puns. Ellen DeGeneres’ turn as the voice of Dory, the memory-impaired goldfish is enjoyable, and by far the best thing about this film. C+

Intolerable Cruelty – I can’t really understand why some people dislike this film so much – I guess they are all Coen fans mired in expectations. Whatever. This film was very entertaining, and had some very funny bits. I thought that the first half of the film was sharper and wittier than the second half, but since so few solid comedies are made these days, I’m willing to grade on a curve. Either way, how can anyone deny Heinz, the Baron Krauss von Espy? B

Kill Bill Vol. 1 – Though this movie can obviously work as either a simple action film or as a film-nerd/trainspotter’s collage of Asian martial arts cinema tropes, I found it to be primarily an extremely absurd dark comedy. In addition to offering some of the most beautiful and memorable images that I’ve seen in any visual medium from this past year, it also includes some of the year’s most hilarious jokes. I’m very excited to see the second installment, though I find it hard to imagine that anything in it can top the sequences in Japan with O-Ren Ishii. A

Lost In Translation – This is, along with Morvern Callar and Kill Bill, one of the finest pieces of visual art that I’ve seen in the past year. The real triumph here is that the photography and visual storytelling is second to the story, with its sharp humor and subtle, well-observed characters. I feel a strong emotional connection to this film, and clearly this has been the case for many other people. It’s a rare and special film; and it is, at least within my personal canon, an instant classic. A

Matrix Reloaded – There are just so many things wrong with this movie, I barely know where to begin. I knew going in that it wouldn’t be a very intelligent or thoughtful film, all I was hoping for was an entertaining action film, and it did not deliver on those merits. I will say this – if you’re a person who went to see Matrix Reloaded and was exposed to philosophies and ideas that you had never been exposed to/thought of yourself by the age of 15, then I do believe that you are shallow and lacking in intellectual curiosity, and frankly, you deserve movies like this. (My full review of this film can be found here.) D+

Morvern Callar – This starts off moody, broody, and quiet, but eventually morphs into a bleak buddy travelogue comedy. It’s a nice trick, and I’d like to see this again sometime soon so that I can watch it with full knowledge of the plot. Visually, this film is amazing. Every shot is perfectly composed, and as a friend of mine noted, it seems almost like a ninety minute painting. Thanks to some clever sound editing, the mix tape which is a major plot point of the film is allowed to feel very real to the viewer, and becomes a character in and of itself. A-

My Architect – This is a documentary made by the son of influential 20th century architect Louis Kahn about his father’s life and career. The film attempts to piece together the man’s fractured personal life, which was complicated greatly by having children with two mistresses, which was kept a secret until after his death. The film visits the site of each of Kahn’s most important buildings, and manages to give the viewer a sense of what it may be like to experience them, particularly his greatest works, the singular Salk Institute and the stunning National Assembly in Dhaka, Bangladesh. The film is a great portrait of an artist’s life and work, and gives great insight into the often neglected art of architecture. A

Old School – This movie has some very funny scenes (almost all of which are dominated by Will Ferrell), but is overly formulaic and is set back considerably by awkward pacing and bad editing. Will Ferrell and Luke Wilson carry the film, but deserve much better material. B-

The School Of Rock – Much like Elf, this is an amusing mainstream comedy built to play to the specific strengths of its star. Everything that’s ever been funny and unique about Jack Black is distilled into what is essentially a mash-up of the Bad News Bears and Wayne’s World. The movie has a lot of heart, and plays out the conventions of Hollywood kid’s films with intelligence and wit, so when it strays into formula, it hardly matters. It’s hard to imagine Black finding a better role than this. B+

The Secret Lives Of Dentists – This film is mostly quite mediocre, but features a typically strong performance by Hope Davis as a woman whose adulterous affair torments her repressed husband. The writing and acting is fine enough, but the film has very little to say about its characters aside from simply portraying them believably. Denis Leary has a supporting role as the “devil-on-the-shoulder” id within Scott’s internal monologue, a device which is alternately amusing and grating. The film suffers for having an obnoxious and somewhat inappropriate soundtrack which vaguely recalls the sort of music one would hear in a low-budget soft porn film on Cinemax late at night. C+

The Shape Of Things C-

Spellbound – This is another in a series of great, entertaining documentaries about left-field subject matter from the past year. The film starts off with profiles of eight of the contestants who are about to head off to the National Spelling Bee, and allows the audience to root for their favorites in the competion in the latter half. My personal favorites are the bizarre, ADD-addled Harry, ticking time-bomb Ted, and April, the most pessimistic 12 year old girl in the world. A

Spy Kids 3-D – Though this film is often hilariously absurd and includes a few of weirdest plot nonsequitors I’ve ever seen (Steve Buscemi comes to the rescue on a giant flying pig!), the video game themed scenes were dull, and overall the film isn’t particularly memorable. B-

The Station Agent – Though this is by no means a bad movie, it never rises above the level of low-expectations indie mediocrity. The film is built around (and presumably written for) Peter Dinklage, who turns in a great performance in a film that is otherwise totally forgettable. B-

Thirteen – The best way to describe this film would be “edgy after-school special.” Extremely po-faced and melodramatic, and utterly lacking in humor and irony, Thirteen seems designed primarily to frighten parents and titillate the lecherous. The writing, score, and photography is amateurish at best, and occasionally veers off into the worst kind of art school pretentiousness. Evan Rachel Wood’s performance is remarkable given her age, but she can’t help but to indulge in a bout of scene-chomping histrionics along with Holly Hunter by the end of the film. C

The Triplets Of Belleville – I am extremely mystified by every good review written about this film, which may actually be the single worst film I’ve ever seen. There have been films which have angered me more, and some which were more painful to watch, but in terms of sheer mind-numbing tedium, nothing I’ve witnessed comes close to this. It felt as though I had paid $10 to have entertainment removed from my life for 74 minutes and replaced with a seemingly endless stream of unfunny gags, grating sound effects, and sub-mediocre plotting. As my friend who saw this with me says, “The Triplets of Belleville” is an entertaining movie, if you’ve never seen a cartoon before in your life, like fat and gay jokes, and think that playing household items like musical instruments (Imagine – Marge Simpson in Stomp) is somehow innovative or remarkable, or indeed, is anything less than teeth-grindingly annoying.” Please avoid this film at all costs. D-

X2: X-Men United – Along with Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man, this is the best superhero film I’ve ever seen. I do prefer X-Men 2 to Spider-Man, but I’ve preferred X-Men to every other geeky franchise since I was six years old. This movie gets the X-Men right in ways that the comics very seldom have, outside of Grant Morrison’s New X-Men and Chris Claremont’s mid-80s run with Paul Smith and John Romita Jr. on Uncanny X-Men. The film has its share of logical flaws, and I’m disappointed by how it short-changes key characters like Charles Xavier and Scott Summers, but almost everything else works so well that I can let that all slide. Ian McKellan’s Magneto and Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine steal the show again; but Alan Cumming’s Nightcrawler is the best that character has been since 1985, and Rogue and Iceman are far better characters in the film than they have ever been in the actual comics. Judging by the conclusion of this film, the next film will probably deal with Jean Grey and the Phoenix, which should be interesting. That won’t be easy to translate to film, unless the screen writers go with Grant Morrison’s less continuity-heavy version of the Phoenix. I’d be quite happy if Emma Frost and the Beast were introduced as well, but there is already so many characters in this film franchise, it may not be a good idea to include any more without further sacrificing time for the pre-existing characters. A-

Anyhow Or Anyway

Clone Defects “Stray Boy” – It’s always cheap and easy to explain how something sounds by using the old “it’s like _____ crossed with ____” trick, but seriously, this song really sounds exactly like Nation Of Ulysses-era Ian Svenonius fronting the Stooges. And that rules; moreso for the “sounds like Ian Svenonius” part than for the Stooges thing, which I can sort of take or leave since I’m not a huge fan of The Stooges and quite enough bands ape them to begin with. It’s great reverb-soaked fun, and the album from which this is taken, Shapes Of Venus, is more of the same.

I Have A Theory

In the mid-80s, Michael Jackson used a chunk of his immense wealth to purchase a time machine, and with it, successfully travelled into the future. On his first expedition, he arrived in the early 2000s. There he found that the most popular and acclaimed American rock star was a man named Jack White – a flamboyant rocker with striking pale white skin and shoulder-length black hair. At the same time, Michael learned of his own horrible crimes and his very public downfall. This drove him mad. Upon returning to the mid-80s, Michael was inspired to warp his own physical appearance so that he could resemble this rock star from the future. At the same time, he resigned himself to not changing his behavior in the hopes of altering the future because he feared that he may create a timeline anomoly that would shatter the multiverse, as he had read about in DC’s Crisis On Infinite Earths comic books. This led to Michael living out a horrible prophecy of child abuse, deviant sexuality, and ever-deepening madness. Time has now come full circle, so we should all keep our eyes open so that if we see early 80s black Michael, we can stop him and potentially reverse this horrible timeline disaster.

Clear As Winter Ice

Chicks On Speed “Wordy Rappinghood (Playgroup Remix)” – This the dancefloor version of Chicks On Speed’s all-star Tom Tom Club cover from the recent 99 Cents album, featuring guest vocals by Tina Weymouth, Le Tigre, Miss Kitten, Kevin Blechdom and Adult. The somewhat annoying “rum sum sum hi ki yippie ki woo a woo” chorus has been jettisoned, and a sleek disco bassline has been added, which are both improvements as far as I’m concerned. You’ve still got some cheesy white girl rapping, but that’s part of the song’s essential charm.

The Clash “Straight To Hell” (Live) – It’s been a year now since Joe Strummer passed away. It’s still hard to believe that he’s really gone. I remember when I first heard that he had died, and I thought that it was some kind of mistake. It is such a shame that he died so young, but I do suppose he packed quite a lot of living into his 50 years. Anyway, this version of “Straight To Hell” is taken from the live album From Here To Eternity, and contains the immortal “sing in tune, ye bastards!” bit towards the end. R.I.P., Joe.

This will be the last entry til after Christmas. Have a happy holiday, everyone. Take care of yourselves.

Slip A Sable Under The Tree

Kylie Minogue “Santa Baby” – Kylie is so cute! This song is already a very kitschy tune, but good ol’ Kylie camps it up above and beyond the call of duty. So, as a result, it comes out being closer to the Eartha Kitt original than the fine but perhaps overly literal version that Madonna recorded back in the mid-80s at the height of her Material Girl shtick.

Aretha Franklin “Eleanor Rigby” – Now this is a peculiar cover. Musically, it’s a totally different song from the Beatles original in terms of arrangement, chords, melody, and overall tone. So I’m wondering, did Aretha just really love the lyrics and decided to turn it into an upbeat soul number because that’s, well, what she does? It’s a pretty great version though, even if it seems like a totally different song. In fact, I kinda prefer it this way, but I’ve never been a huge fan of the Beatles version to begin with. I’ll take the party tune over the dirge, thank you.

Stumbling Down The Staircase That I Built With My Own Hands

Yellow Note Vs. Pukka “Naked, Drunk, and Horny” – I posted this song about a year ago, but that shouldn’t make too much difference considering that there’s so many more people reading this blog now than back then. I’m not sure what breaks my heart more: The fact that this song is not and probably won’t ever be a massive hit in spite of the fact that there are probably millions of people out there who would love it, or that the Yellow Note album which contains it after its initial release as a one-off single is such a tremendous dud. Of course, the singer Pukka does not appear on the rest of the tracks from We Love Everybody…You’re Next!, but that’s only half of the problem – most of the album is nothing but tedious and painfully unimaginative beginner’s level retro-80s keyboard music, devoid of the kind of joyous pop hooks that “Naked, Drunk, and Horny” has in abundance. Nevermind the rest of that record, though. To borrow a phrase from Uncle Grambo of the Whatevs blog, “Naked, Drunk, and Horny” is SO FUCKING BEST. This is as good as modern electro pop gets – sexy come-ons, tweeness, self-deprecation, a keyboard bit that sounds a lot like Depeche Mode’s “Just Can’t Get Enough,” vocodered vocals, and inexplicable references to DIY carpentry all wrapped up in one bright and shiny pop package.

Also: Fans of mp3 blogging should check out the fairly new site Fruits Of Chaos // A Sampler, which hosts some rather obscure songs and is curated by two girls who are apparently students at NYU.

Oh look: There’s another Fluxblog.

Lock Yourself In Your Hotel Room

It’s covers day!

The Fiery Furnaces “One More Time” – At the risk of this blog becoming a part-time Fiery Furnaces fan site, here is yet another rarity of theirs. I’m sorry if this seems as though I’m trying to brow beat you all into loving them, but so be it. This was recorded exclusively for Uncut’s White Riot Vol. One: A Tribute To The Clash; and as with their cover of The Fall’s “The Winter” on a recent Rough Trade compilation, it a) shows that they have a knack for selecting a less-than-obvious song by a great band to cover and b) has a drastically different arrangement from the original but still manages to keep the spirit of the song intact. Listening to this, it just makes me so excited for the next Fiery Furnaces record, because I get the sense that it’s only going to get better with them. The keyboard textures and echo effects on this track are to die for, by the way.

The Kills “The Search For Cherry Red” – This cover of the Jonathan Fire Eater classic is the b-side of The Kills’ recent “Pull A U” single. It’s by no means better than the original (you just can’t improve on that, the Vox organ sounds are especially unique and perfect), but this slow, smoldering take plays to the Kills strengths and emphasizes a creepy sexiness that the Jonathan Fire Eater version only hinted at. I just love the girl’s singing on this song – she’s the best thing about the Kills by far.

Jonathan Fire Eater “The Search For Cherry Red” – It occurs to me now that given Jonathan Fire Eater’s relative obscurity (and the fact that all of their records are out-of-print), a majority of you may not be familiar with the song that The Kills covered. So here it is, one of the best songs by one of the most criminally underrated bands of the 90s.

Well Maybe Just A Half Drink More

George McCrea “I Get Lifted” – Oooh! Does anyone out there know if this song has been sampled? That opening groove is just begging to be looped and made into a hip hop song. This song has been sampled many times over. Top notch stuff. This is taken from Souljazz’s Miami Sound – Rare Funk and Soul from Miami 67-74 compilation.

Zooey Deschanel & Leon Redbone “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” – This comes to you via our friends at Antipopper, who have been posting some very interesting mp3s lately. This new version of the Christmas party classic was recently recorded for the soundtrack of Elf, and it’s just endlessly charming. Zooey Deschanel‘s singing voice is a revelation – this woman is quite simply living in the wrong era. Surely there must be a good old musical that can be remade for her to star in, right?

I Was Born Into Your Loving Arms

The Rapture “Sister Savior (DFA Vocal Mix)” – This new, almost guitar-free mix is taken from the brand new UK single. The full-on electro pop approach suits this song much better than the more rock-leaning arrangment from the Echoes LP. This new version sounds more confident and assured, whereas the album version seemed stuck in an uncomfortable halfway point between disco and punk, when it should have been a straight disco tune all along.

Jandek “I Went To Hell” – I hadn’t been keeping up on Jandek very much in 2003, and as it turns out, I missed FOUR Jandek records, and completely missed an entire phase in his long, strange career. It seems like only yesterday that I was feeling deeply creeped out by Worthless Recluse, the second of his three consecutive spoken word albums. After the third part of that trilogy, Jandek put out a couple of records which returned to his trademark guitar and harmonica, recalling the longer songs from his early albums like “First You Think Your Fortune’s Lovely” from Ready For The House.

“I Went To Hell” comes from Jandek’s newest record, The Gone Wait, on which Jandek’s pained voice is accompanied by thudding, arrhythmic and non-melodic bass, along with some occasional overdubs of his distinctive atonal guitar playing. I’ve never heard anything quite like this album (aside from maybe Jandek’s own Telegraph Melts-era recordings.) The rumbling bass on this recording seems random and arbitrary, but has a strange musicality to it. It is eerily remisiscent of the sounds that the furnace in my basement makes. It’s not hard to imagine this music as being the soundtrack to hell, actually.

Fasten Those Pants For The Lapdance

Scissor Sisters “Take Your Mama Out” – This is one of the three new Scissor Sisters songs which have leaked thanks to a promo EP containing songs from their forthcoming debut album on Polydor. Of the three new songs, “Take Your Mama Out” is the most surprising – it sounds like early Elton John doing a soul version of a Shania/country-pop kind of song. It probably sounds like it wouldn’t work in print, but it fits in rather well with their campy 70s pop aesthetic. Also available via our friends at Enthusiastic But Mediocre is an mp3 of the peculiar “Tits On The Radio.” There’s something vaguely creepy and unsettling about that song, particularly in the tempo and cadence of the female singer’s voice. It’s not far off from Beck’s “Get Real Paid,” but it’s far more sinister than sexy.

The Von Bondies “C’mon C’mon” – Though I cannot claim that this song has brought me to the same heights of ecstacy as it obviously has for others, I can say that I think this song is quite a lot of fun. Frankly, if this doesn’t become a hit in 2004, I will be very shocked. “C’mon C’mon,” like Blur’s “Song 2,” The White Stripes “Fell In Love With A Girl,” and The Hives “Hate To Say I Told You So” before it, is the kind of modern rock song that’s all about sweeping up the listener in its own momentum. The content of the song is almost totally irrelevant – it’s all about creating that ghost sensation of being pushed forwards at about a hundred miles per hour. It’s a rush; pop music as a theme park ride. (Or maybe x-treme sports, I don’t know. I’ve never really done anything very “x-treme” aside from drinking Gatorade. )

I See A Jolly Silhouette Of A Man

Dub Narcotic Sound System w/ Heather Dunn “Fuck Me Up” – I’m not sure what to make of the new Dub Narcotic album Degenerate Introduction. It’s a frustrating record, because while it has scattered moments of funky greatness, it rarely commits to any groove, and ends up being a record of songs that would clear most any good dancefloor. On the songs which do get a nice groove going, like “Blood Flow,” it’s just too anemic and slow to inspire any body movement other than some vague head nodding and half-hearted shoulder dancing. That’s such a shame, because I’d really love to have a powerful funk/dance song with lyrics that go “Cheney is a heartless corpse / Colin Powell is a corporate marionette wet dream.” It’s such a missed opportunity.

So many of these songs could reach greatness if only they lost some of their art-rock restlessness and sounded a bit more enthusiastic, like the best songs from previous Dub Narcotic releases. “Joint Joint” spends so much time meandering before finding a danceable groove that when they abandon it after only a few measures, it’s extremely frustrating. And then there’s the lyrics: “Are we searching for the perfect beat? Hell no! / We don’t need no perfection, just a knocking rhythm section” – it kind of says it all about the record. It’s as though they are willing to rest on their laurels simply because they do have a good rhythm section, and they aren’t interested in putting forth the effort to come up with something that would get a real, non-indie rock dance floor moving. Their new music is the victim of indie’s low expectations for dance music.

“Fuck Me Up” is a bit better than other songs on the record, but it still falls short. It’s part of what’s becoming a tradition on Dub Narcotic albums – adding female guest vocals to one of the best tunes on the record. The problem here is that unlike the charming vocal turn by Miranda July on “Out Of Your Mind,” or Lois Maffeo’s surprisingly soulful singing on the sublime “Ship To Shore,” “Fuck Me Up” is stuck with grating, tuneless vocals by the No No’s Heather Dunn. If only she put some effort into the vocals, or let someone else sing the part, this song could have been much more successful.

It’s not exactly a shocker to me that this album is being championed by the relentlessly borecore music writers of Free Williamsburg – this is exactly the kind of funk/dance music that would impress a group of critics who trash Outkast, The Rapture, and Jay-Z while rhapsodizing over some of the dullest indie rock committed to wax in the last year.

Pledge Drive w/ One Of Each “Christmas Rhapsody” – This is fascinating! It’s a note-for-note replica of Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” with re-written Christmas-themed lyrics, performed with utter sincerity and considerable skill. This was sent to my by reader and Pledge Drive member Tim Walters, who also co-wrote the new lyrics. The degree to which this recording is both straight-faced and accurate is astounding. Highlight: “Kris Kringle, No!” “Do Not Give Him Coal!” “Give him coal!” “Do not give him coal!” “Give him coal!”

Also: Sasha Frere-Jones has a new mp3 of a previously unreleased song of his which you really ought to go download now from his blog while it is still available. It’s pretty great low-key funk instrumental with some fantastic keyboard bass sounds and percussion breaks, and he says there are some alternate versions with vocals which may be posted if reaction to this track is positive. Please let him know if you like it, because I’d really like to hear the Destiny’s Child mash-up version of this.

My Favorite Songs Have Notes That Are Wrong

Electrelane “Windmill” – I’ve been playing this on repeat several times over the past few days – somehow it sounds better that way. This is taken from the forthcoming The Power Out, which I think is in general an improvement over the band’s entirely instrumental first record. I’m fine with the rest of the songs from the new album, but this song…it’s just sublime, you know? Those guitar melodies and chords are so beautiful and evocative to me; it sounds like quiet, modest, simple happiness. It feels like a lot of good memories that I have in music form, if that makes sense. Every time I hear certain chord changes in the song, or when her voice gets a little higher for emphasis, I want to let out a little sigh of recognition.

The most similar song that I can think of would be “Sweet Shine” by Sonic Youth, but I’m pretty sure there’s an old Fleetwood Mac song that I don’t know the title of which is along the same lines. I love the way Verity Susman sings on this, especially when she’s reaching for those high notes just out of her range. It’s one of those times when a more technically skilled singer wouldn’t quite nail the feeling as well.

Grandaddy “Alan Parsons In A Winter Wonderland” – This is the first of the holiday/Christmas/winter themed songs. It’s a weird one, too – “Winter Wonderland,” but riddled with several inexplicable references to The Alan Parsons Project. My personal favorite: “In the meadow we can build a snowman / and pretend that he is Alan Parsons.”

Love A Little Candy Girl

Raekwon w/ Method Man & Cappadonna “Ice Cream Part 2” – This must be the Empire Strikes Back of hip hop sequels; it blows the original from Only Built 4 Cuban Linx out of the water, which obviously isn’t the easiest thing to do. Oh my god! That chimey part! That bassline! It’s perfect! This is from the brand-new Lex Diamond Story LP, but unfortunately there’s nothing else on the record which is quite like this.

Missy Elliott “Pass That Dutch (Pistol Pete mix)” – This is a Fluxblog Exclusive! This track appears courtesy of the remixer, and it’s pretty damn amazing. It’s a major improvement over the original, which I find to be a little shapeless and dull. This version is far more dynamic and danceable, and Missy’s lyrics sound much better over this faster beat.

Also: The only year-end list of records that you ever need is out today (Sorry, P&J fans!) – The Onion A/V Club Least Essential Albums Of 2003.

Joe says that he wants a “sudden increase in readers.” So please go visit his blog, read his excellent recent posts about the Scissor Sisters, Michael Jackson, and The Empty Show, and make a boy’s dream come true.

Hear My Heart Getting Soft

Crossover “The Journey To Gröb” – I don’t know what it is about this girl’s voice, but I love the sound of it. This is from the recent 12″ of the same name, which also includes a remix of “Phostographt” by Tiga.

Gene Farris “This Is My Religion” – This is a nice mellow dubby down-tempo track from a guy best known for Chicago house music and filterdisco. Highly recommended if you like DJ Shadow’s Endtroducing LP.

So, anyway, there’s been a major spike in traffic since I posted the LCD Soundsystem song – this blog had over 1000 hits yesterday, and it looks like it should be just a little bit shy of the same number today. To the 400-500+ extra people: Please stick around! I post cool stuff here all the time.

I’m thinking of going vaguely conceptual for the last two weeks of this month. I’ll alternate between posting interesting/obscure holiday music, and some of the best slept-on music from 2003 in lieu of a best-of list. If I find anything exciting that doesn’t quite fit into either category, I’ll post that too, as per usual. How does that sound?

Everybody Keeps On Talking About It, Nobody’s Getting It Done

LCD Soundsystem “Yeah (Stupid Version)” – I bet you didn’t think that they would top “Losing My Edge” so soon, huh? DFA strikes again. Going on all of the stray unreleased LCD Soundsystem songs circulating online right now and the amazing opening set that I saw them play at Irving Plaza in support of The Rapture earlier in the year, it seems as though they are preparing to drop one hell of a debut album. If LCD Soundsystem comes to your town, go see them play live. You won’t regret it.

(Additional oooh-ing and ahhh-ing about this track can be found over on this ILM thread.)

The Walkmen “New Year’s Eve” – This song is a real grower, and I suspect that the rest of the new Bows And Arrows LP will be the same way. I haven’t heard the record enough to form any strong opinions, but my initial reaction to the album is that it’s not as immediately stunning/beautiful/catchy as the previous record, but I have enough goodwill built up for these guys that I’m willing to keep listening in hopes that I’ll get more into it over time. “New Year’s Eve” is one of my early favorites; it nails that wintery, romantic, nostalgic feeling that seems to be their specialty.

Came For My Body But Left With My Soul

Pram “The Owl Service” – Pram are kind of like an Earth 2 version of Stereolab – essentially quite similar, but with a very different personality as a result of changing only a few relatively minor variables. In this case, take away Stereolab’s French vocals, lefty politics, and taste for Krautrock and cocktail music, and replace it with an obsession with magic, children’s literature, gothic horror, and jazz. This track is taken from their 2000 album The Museum Of Imaginary Animals, and takes its title from the children’s horror novel by Alan Garner.

Junior Senior “Boy Meets Girl” – Listen, if this is “disposable” then so are the Rolling Stones and all of Motown and all of the great fun pop songs that you’ve ever heard in your life. There’s nothing wrong with fun, people! Don’t fight it. Joycore is good for your soul. Borecore is unhealthy for children and other living creatures!

I Thought You Were Going To Say “Evil”

Tom Scharpling & Jon Wurster “Tom’s Daddy 2” – This sketch from this past Tuesday’s episode of The Best Show On WFMU is the sequel to the original “Tom’s Daddy” bit which will very soon be released as part of the forthcoming New Hope For The Ape-Eared – The Best of Scharpling & Wurster Volume 2 compilation. You don’t really need to have heard the original to get the jokes in this one – unlike some other Best Show sequels, this sketch does not rely on recycling the best jokes from its predecessor, and may actually be funnier than the original. This time, Tom’s father Roger Scharpling calls in to talk to Tom about his new girlfriend, mufflers, Karen Carpenter, Little League, hotdiggitydog.com, and statues of limitations.

John Mayer = Turbodouche

Mayer, on Junior Senior’s “Move Your Feet” in the new issue of SPIN:

This may be the future of music.

SPIN: How so?

It’s a song that you can learn before it’s over. It’s part of the continual blurbing of American culture – this skip-forward generation. “I don’t want to learn lyrics. Don’t give me a verse; just give me a chorus. And just chant some shit over the verse.” But nobody’s left out. The person who has heard this song twenty times is no closer to understanding it than the person who listens to it for the first time.

There is so much wrong-headed smugness, condescension, and misguided ideas about art and pop music packed into this brief quote that it makes my head spin! I mean, really, John! “The continual blurbing of American culture,” huh? Did you get that one from Adbusters, man? Or was it from No Logo? And you surely haven’t benefited from the “skip-forward generation”, with your flimsy little James Taylor-for-Dave Matthews fans pop tunes, right? Because you’re writing, um, more than one verse per song? WTF? Somebody needs to give this dink a chainsaw haircut.

Also

New York people: The Scissor Sisters are playing at the Bowery Ballroom on Saturday, January 10th. Tickets are on sale now. I’ll be there. What about you?

Now That You’ve Found Another Key, What Are You Going To Play?

Go Home Productions “How Does It Feel To Be Rich, Man?” – This comes from brilliant mashup mind of Go Home Productions, who has put together some of the finest bootlegs of the past few years and are showing no signs of letting up anytime soon. (See: “Christmas On The Block” and “God Save Madonna,” both currently on their downloads page.) “How Does It Feel To Be Rich, Man” is taken from their Beatleg Bootles set, and mixes my all-time favorite Beatles song “Baby, You’re A Rich Man” with the “Theme From Shaft” by Isaac Hayes.

The Homosexuals “Vociferous Slam” – I’ve been meaning to post this song for quite a while now, and I always seem to forget about it for some reason. I was reminded yesterday by this great thread about the Homosexuals from ILM. It’s sort of amazing how many turns this song takes in less than two minutes without ever being obnoxious or proggy. That thread I linked covers the strange history of the band far better than I could in a quick blurb here, so do read up on them if you’re interested. The rest of that Homosexuals Record compilation is well worth checking out.

My Street’s All Pop Music And Coke

Damon Albarn “Gotta Get Down With The Passing Of Time” – This is taken from the new super-limited edition record of Damon Albarn demos and song fragments, DemoCrazy. This particular song is sort of mediocre, but it is by far the most complete piece of music on the record. Most of the tracks are one minute doodles meant to capture a musical idea, but unlike, say, PJ Harvey’s Four Track Demos, almost nothing here is complete enough to even be successful on its own merits. This record gives Blur fanboys some vague insight into Damon Albarn’s songwriting process, and nothing more.

I’m not sure why Albarn would choose to release this particular set of demos – judging by this demo version of Blur’s “Sweet Song” from the Observer Music Monthly, Albarn certainly could put out far more realized demoes of previously released songs, which may give the listener a more linear idea of Albarn’s process since they could compare it to the finished product.

DemoCrazy is a curious record, mostly because it is mystifying to me why it even exists. Blur have been courting a cult audience since the beginning, mainly by releasing dozens of b-sides and Japanese-exclusive records for the obsessive fans to hunt down, but this record is the kind of barrel-scraping exploitation that usually only comes after an artist is long since dead and there’s nothing left to release. Why did Albarn think his fans needed to hear this? Is he embracing the Pollard Impulse?

Something You Really Ought To Read

If you have any interest in the process of manufacturing records, you should check out Woebot’s article about record mastering.

Here We Are Together On Your Hi Fi

Kelis w/ Andre 3000 “Millionaire” – Apparently returning the favor for Kelis’ guest shot on The Love Below‘s “Dracula’s Wedding,” this is Andre 3000’s contribution to Kelis’ brand new Tasty record. Fans of Outkast should not be let down by this track, which is produced and vocally dominated by Andre, enough so that it seems more than a little out of place on the Kelis record. As with most anything Andre 3000 does lately, it’s fabulous. I can’t really say the same of the rest of the Kelis album – it’s not bad, it’s just kind of average for the most part. Many of the tracks just sound like the Neptunes on autopilot, and Kelis’ voice never rises above being merely adequete and competant. She lacks the character and presense which would be necessary to make her so-so material compelling. I think that her talents are best suited to playing the melodic chorus-singing foil to flamboyant hip hop MCs like Andre and Ol’ Dirty Bastard. She’s no star, but she can be a gifted ensemble player, and there’s no shame in that.

Of course, the exception to all of this is the single “Milkshake” (which I trust most of you have heard by now, and if not, you will very soon), which is as inspired, catchy, and sexy as the best Neptunes singles of the past four years.

10CC “The Worst Band In The World” – Inspired by discussion on ILM of their biggest hit “I’m Not In Love,” I’ve started to investigate 10CC’s back catalog, which has been a fairly fruitful endeavor for me, if just because I discovered this song from their 1972 album Sheet Music. It reminds me a bit of the better Steely Dan songs, but with even more sarcasm and irony in the lyrics, and less meticulous lite-jazz gloss.

One of the questions which I’m frequently asked by new readers is if I know of any other blogs which share this blog’s format – ie, a semi-daily mp3 blog. Up until recently, I’ve only ever been able to recommend Gabba and a handful of other blogs like Do You Feel Loved which rotate their mp3s with a much slower turnover rate than the one I have established here. Well, no more. Tangmonkey is now offering daily mp3 downloads, and joining me as I straddle the fine line between music “piracy” and free promotion and publicity. Godspeed, Tangmonkey!