Fluxblog
March 20th, 2019 10:33pm

Overthinking With My Heart


Ariana Grande “Needy”

“I don’t give no fucks” is a thing people say when all they do is give a fuck. There’s an irony to Ariana Grande singing that phrase in “Needy,” a song that is entirely about giving a fuck and being insecure and desperate for affirmation and approval. It’s a double negative – she’s saying she doesn’t give a fuck if people know this about her, but trying to “own it” is just another layer of neuroses. It’s trying to control the narrative. It’s trying to find some solid ground to stand on when everything else feels unstable.

But still, the vulnerability on display in “Needy” is admirable. The desire to “own it” is brave, because you’re not supposed to be proud of being so invested in a fledgling relationship, and so open about what you actually need from it. You’re supposed to play it cool, and hide all this intensity – overanalyzing texts, obsessing over every little thing, volatile emotions. You don’t want to freak them out, so you start feeling like you’ve got to protect them from your feelings. But your feelings aren’t an attack, and you’re just protecting yourself. Grande’s vocal performance conveys the strength of her feelings, but also a weariness. Tamping down this passion is driving her crazy and transparency is her only way out of this situation.

The line that really gets me here is in the chorus: “I can be needy, tell me how good it feels to be needed.” This is the crux of the whole thing, right? This isn’t about demanding someone’s time and energy and feelings. It’s about affirming your reciprocal value, and hoping that the person you need appreciates that need, because it’s ultimately a high compliment. There’s a lot of emotional intelligence in this song, and it’s not just in its vulnerability. It’s in admitting that things are confusing and complex and weird, and that need is both necessary and embarrassing. But it’s worth it: “I know it feels so good to be needed.”

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