June 16th, 2009 6:00am
Now I Am More Happy And I Wish I Was More Happy
Jeffrey Lewis “If Life Exists (?)”
This song is essentially a shrug of resignation: There is no logic to our emotions, our intellect is at the mercy of our brain chemistry, and we live moment to unpredictable moment. Nevertheless, it is not wholly negative or even sorta sad. If anything, there is a calm in this song, as though simply admitting that being human is fairly difficult, and that disappointments are frequent and crushing, and that no matter how hard you try you cannot control everything, just takes this huge weight off your back. It’s a relief, and it’s true. It’s easier to be hard on yourself and expect too much than to be calm and relatively free of neuroses, but it’s also less productive. That’s the trade off: Would you rather have the drive to always feel that you need to improve and have it motivate you to actually gradually become a better person, or do you want to be mediocre and content? I know what I choose, but if you read this site regularly, you probably have a sense of just how anxious I can get.
Buy it from Amazon.
6/16/09 9:29 am
A Wittgenstein quote came to mind, where he asks whether we’re even in charge of effort:
“Willing too is merely an experience,” one would like to say . . .It comes when it comes and I cannot bring it about.
Put another way…if we’re at the mercy of our physical wiring, our brain especially, wouldn’t it be in charge of our striving too?
I don’t know if Lewis is accounting for that. He sounds like he’s cool with just having fun and ignoring whatever intrusive thoughts come up.
Just yesterday I read this, a little more extreme view… http://www.nytimes.com/2002/12/31/science/essay-more-than-good-intentions-holding-fast-to-faith-in-free-will.html
He’s saying the hooking-electrodes-up-to-people’s-heads research shows our thoughts basically just catch up to our actions, and then label “decision” on whatever happened.
Anyway, whether the above makes sense I’m glad to have the song. Free will’s a subject that has been on my mind.
6/16/09 11:01 am
@dhs
Good quote! Just wanted to say, I’m not so sure Jeffrey Lewis is “cool with just having fun and ignoring whatever intrusive thoughts come up,” as his persona is something like a Williamsburg Woody Allen (not to be overly reductive or anything!). I think he’s one of the worriers, but he’s a smart and well-read worrier, so he senses he’d be happier if he just gave into the drone– but he also realizes that just when you think you’ve found out what’s going to bring you peace, the guard at the door of that parable from Kafka is there to slam the door in your face. That’s life, right?
Anyway, I really like this song. Lewis is one of those guys who writes a few songs I really love but then fills up the rest of his album with songs I dislike or am indifferent to, making it tough to give him a p4k rating that shows how good I think he can be at his best.
“It’s easier said than done, and it’s not even easy to say.” Love it.
6/16/09 11:23 am
I feel exactly the same about Lewis. When he’s on, he’s amazing, but he’s got questionable quality control.
6/16/09 1:23 pm
You talk about being content as if it’s a bad thing. We can all strive to be better people, but it doesn’t mean you have to constantly tear your hair out about everything. I for one, am perfectly comfortable knowing that I’m a terrible cook, musician, Street Fighter 2 player, etc.
6/16/09 2:11 pm
Complacent is the better word.
8/30/09 2:56 am
This song is very nice. It is always good to be more realistic about life even it is more hurting.