June 15th, 2009 6:42am
Amidst This Bitterness
Fiona Apple “I Know”
Maybe there is something a bit weird about how one of the most beautiful and unbelievably painful love songs ever written is about David Blaine, but then again, it’s probably for the best that we don’t know anything about the people most songs are written about, right? I reckon the more emotionally wrought the song, the more likely it was written about someone lame, awful, or otherwise unworthy. This is where biography gets in the way of art — even with some specifics relating to stage performance, this is a song written about a very common experience. We never need to think of Blaine when listening to it.
(Edit: Okay, apparently it’s actually for Paul Thomas Anderson, but you know, same difference.)
“I Know” is a song about suffering through patience, and waiting, perhaps in vain, to have your love for someone validated and fully reciprocated. Its sentiment is gut-wrenching, but the lyrics and vocal performance are not particularly melodramatic. There is agony and sadness in nearly every moment, but the thinking is very pragmatic: I’ll help you out of your mess, I’ll support you, I’ll love you, I’ll swallow my pride and deal with my jealousy and stifle my desires, and….well, maybe there’s something good for me on the other side of all that.
It’s the hope that makes the song so devastating, and the way she clings to her faith that it will all be worth it in the end. But she can’t know what will happen, and the doubt drags her deep into melancholy. She feels a bit used, and she struggles to understand why he can’t just be straight with her.
The ending is brutal: “If it gets too late for me to wait for you to find you love me and tell me so, it’s okay, you don’t need to say it…” The title is implied but never uttered, and the song concludes on the equivalent of her casting her head down, and slowly walking off in the opposite direction, crestfallen and totally defeated.
Buy it from Amazon.
6/15/09 11:09 am
Matthew, I think this is one of the best posts you’ve done. Your analysis and writing are so strong. I had no idea about the whole David Blaine background, and after the initial shock wore off, I agree with this statement 100%! “We never need to think of Blaine when listening to it.” Anyway, great, great post.
6/15/09 8:59 pm
Actually Fiona has confirmed that I Know was written about Paul Thomas Anderson, not David Blaine.
6/15/09 9:19 pm
Oh wow, really? I was always pretty convinced by the language about stages and encores. Same difference, I guess. Thanks for the info.
6/16/09 7:29 am
This is one of my favourite records of all time, so I’m chuffed that you’ve mentioned it/written about it two times the last few weeks. When the Pawn… is stuffed with the kind of devastation nuggets you describe here, and they always blow me away with undiminished power whenever I return to the album, however long the absence. Thank you so much for this fabulous writing, Matthew, and here’s hoping it won’t be too long before she releases something new.
I was a bit confused by this, though:
The title is implied but never uttered,
Doesn’t she sing “I know” several times during the song?
6/16/09 7:58 am
Thanks Karl!
I was talking about the end of the song — she sets you up to expect to hear her say “I Know,” particularly as it would complete the rhyme with “tell me so.”
6/16/09 8:36 am
Ah, of course. I’d never thought of it like that before, thanks for the enlightenment!
6/17/09 6:51 am
WHOA.
David Blaine and PT Anderson aren’t same difference… Matthew, don’t say you’re not an Anderson fan.
6/17/09 6:54 am
I meant that it’s the same difference in terms of them both being famous, and thinking about them gets in the way of the song. There Will Be Blood is one of my favorite movies, by the way.
8/5/09 11:43 pm
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