Fluxblog
July 21st, 2004 1:18pm


After The Beep

These answering machine excerpts are taken from old episodes of WFMU‘s The Audio Kitchen, a program which showcases a wide range of found audio. The archives containing these particular calls are no longer online, but the most recent season of the program (summer 2003) is available on the Audio Kitchen website.

Mark’s Answering Machine – This is from the answering machine of a man named Mark, who was apparently heading out on a trip to England following his birthday, which passes over the course of this collection of messages. The tape is notable for a set of messages left by a woman who seems to be Mark’s jilted ex-lover. Her calls become gradually more intense and emotional, revealing a devastating mix of impotence, rage, and pettiness.

Toby’s Answering Machine – Toby apparently belonged to some kind of dating service, and this excerpt from her answering machine chronicles three calls from potential suitors. The first caller seems to be a confused mess; the second man calls in spite of the realization that they have absolutely nothing in common; and the final call is from some dude from Rome.

Bizarre Answering Machine Tape – This is the entirety of a microcassette which was found in a dump and restored to the best of the ability of both the Professor and the original finder. As a whole, it seems like some kind of bizarre audio collage combining incidental room chatter, automated messages, distorted ring tones, typical messages, inexplicable music, weird gibberish from children, an irate foul-mouthed matriarch, and some drama involving an extremely depressed, lovesick guy in a hospital. (Please note that all expletives have been omitted and replaced with electronic noise, so that it could be aired on the radio.)

Also: Could this be the best dvd set of all time?

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